Recycled Lies

Ever sat quietly listening to your teenager as they lie to you? Not only are you aware that they are lying...but somehow the lie sounds amazingly familiar? Suddenly you realize why it sounds familiar...it is the same lie you told your own parents when you were their age. It just happened our home recently and I found myself quite torn as to handle the situation. To be perfectly honest... there have been quite a few of those deja vu moments between children and myself.

I know why he lied to me...the same reason I lied to my mother. He knew I would not approve....and he was right. Here was my chance to handle it better than my mother right? Wrong! I tried so hard to be diplomatic and explain to him why I could not approve. However, in some crazy twist of developmental fate, my teen actually believes that there is no way his mother can possibly understand or recall what it is like to be young. He really does see me as the out-of-touch, square dufus’ I saw in my own parents.

I know that it is not always easy to be a teenager and that "this too shall pass". More than likely...he will hear those recycled lies from his own children. But it sure hurts when your child is mad at you...and someday he will realize that it is not always easy to be a parent.

My Cup Runneth Over!

I really have a lot of reasons to be thankful. Last year, one week before Thanksgiving, Randy was laid off. I remember sitting with my family at the table having a wonderful dinner...feeling really thankful and really scared! It was all I could do to smile, and with each bite of food I felt as if I were trying to swallow a rock. For the first time in many years we were without health insurance and I really wasn't sure what would happen. Would one of our children get sick? Would we lose our home? The year did bring quite a few rough spots...but we came together as a family and we made it through.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Today, my thoughts and prayers are with all who are still struggling through hard times and loss. Those who worked very hard... but lost their home anyway. Those who go to work sick or have a sick child and no health insurance. Those who fought with all they had...but lost their lives anyway.Those who would gladly give away their home and all of their belongings if only they could have their child/grandchild/or loved one back.

I am grateful for this past year...not only because we made it through...but because we made it through better and stronger than before. Our struggles this year reminded my family and ME just how much we have...the love of a family, treasured friends, support when times are rough, good health, a comfortable home.

We were also reminded of the many material things that we do not need. Just giving up eating out not only helped our budget, but also lead to cooking healthier meals, eating together as a family and....the six of us lost between 19-44 lbs.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that there is a lesson in everything that happens. Good things sometimes fall apart so better things can fall together. Things go wrong so that we learn to appreciate them when they're right.

Thank you Lord for always watching over this family... and for the countless ways you bless us everyday.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

"For flowers that bloom about our feet;
For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;
For song of bird, and hum of bee;
For all things fair we hear or see,
Father in heaven, we thank Thee!"
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Miracles Do Happen

And I witnessed a very sweet one this morning. Just last night I wrote a blog "Life Goes On" with a bit of a heavy heart. After weeks of watching, photographing and hoping to witness the miracle of not so much "new life" but more of a "Reborn life"... I had given up, lost hope, decided to move on and put the disappointment behind me. When I photographed the butterfly releasing her eggs on the milkweed plant in early October, I wasn't trying to capture anything special...I just thought she was pretty and I wanted a picture of her with wings open. As I looked through the lens...I noticed that she had a pretty good size hole in her wing. She wasn't perfect...what is? In my eyes she was very beautiful and she brought something special to my day.

I have always been fascinated... AMAZED even by nature...but this whole process had me completely captivated. I went outside daily to photograph the caterpillars, and then the Chrysalis. I looked forward to blogging about this....but waited patiently until I could capture the new butterflies busting out of their cocoons and taking flight....heading off on their long journey to Mexico. My heart sank when that first cold snap hit...and again and again with each one that followed. But, I continued to watch and hope. But as some of them began to crack... I could see that they were dying before they even had a chance to change. Normally they are only in their Chrysalis phase for about 10 days....it had now been well over a month. I read that the fourth generation butterflies happen between September and October. We are now nearing the end of November. I quit watching a few days ago...I just gave up. I felt frustrated and that there was no longer any reason to hope. So last night I decided to go ahead and write the blog...it just wouldn't have a happy ending.

Such is life.

This morning as I checked my e-mail and sipped on my coffee...I noticed that my cat was looking out the back door. She had the look that she gets when she see's a bird on the porch. My daughter came over to have a look at whatever was on the porch...sure enough...it was a bird. She said..."mom, its a bird and it is eating a butterfly" I asked her what kind of butterfly...and she said "Monarch". Honestly...I didn't pay it much attention...because in my mind the Monarch Butterflies were gone. A little later we went outside and I realized that my daughter was right...it had been a Monarch butterfly that the bird was eating. I found the empty cocoon and what the bird had left.

Another disappointment. One had actually made it through the cold... and more than a month inside it's cocoon and not only had I missed it...it would never take flight. So we're looking around the milkweed plant and I notice another empty cocoon!

and just as I told my daughter what I had found she shouted "LOOK MOM!" And there he was at the very tip top of the milkweed plant...drying and pumping life into his wings. I stayed outside for a long time and watched until he flew away. Very gratifying.

I realize that some may not view this as a miracle...but I do...and I also believe that I was destined to witness every detail of it. I feel that God found a way to make me pay attention so he could speak to my heart. I listen...but I don't always hear. I suppose like everyone else...I take in what I want or need to hear and block out what is uncomfortable. I have been going through many changes over the last few years. I had a total hysterectomy two years ago...talk about "CHANGE"! I know that doesn't really change who I am...but it does seem like all of my flaws...physically, mentally and spiritually are becoming so much more noticeable. So in a way... I guess feel a little like a butterfly with a hole it is wing. Not all of the changes have to do with me individually. My children are no longer babies...and while I have truly been blessed with four very good children...it is quite different parenting and sometimes uncomfortable dealing with them on a more adult level. My parents...both 79 are changing as well. Many health issues and watching as my mothers memory slips away is sometimes more than my heart can bear. Life is constantly changing...it has always been that way and I have always embraced what each new day brings. In the last few years however... I have begun to view change as almost too painful accept.

The butterfly had a hole in her wing...but she was not broken and even though she had noticeable flaws .... she still had something precious to give. The Caterpillar remained a chrysalis much longer than it should have. Sometimes the process is long, and it is often painful. Change is what life is made of and is necessary for growth and accomplishment...and whether we choose to accept it or not...it is inevitable.

and the message that God put in my heart... though we, life, family, friends will continue to change... never give up...always hope and never let go of your faith. Miracles do happen!

"Change is inevitable, and nothing represents metamorphosis like Butterfly. Within the egg lies a being or thought stirring into life; with birthing, the larva or caterpillar voraciously absorbs all nourishment, thought, and knowledge, manifesting all into the physical; then one “goes within” the chrysalis, allowing inspiration, that connection to oneself and to all there is, to rest and develop; finally the Butterfly emerges and flits and dances from one colorful flower to the next, tasting the sweet nectar's of Life and sharing its gifts with the World.

All of life’s processes take us through these four transformative steps, including conception, birth, growth, and wisdom of old age, but also in our daily thoughts and activities. How easily we change is determined by how thoroughly, creatively, and beautifully we move from one stage to the next." ~ Jan Wright, artist

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." ~Maya Angelou

Life Goes On...

I did a blog awhile back about Monarch Butterflies and the Milkweed plant...which is the staple of their diet. I purchased the plant at a local nursery last Spring... and I was delighted that there were already a few caterpillars chomping away at the plant. Truly amazing to watch as they double, and then triple in size over a period of only about 10-14 days. I was a little disappointed that all but one had crawled off to the woods to go through the chrysalis phase...but I happily documented the progress of that one who chose the eave of my house. Again...I was disappointed to find that one morning while I slept... the new butterfly had flown away. That's nature I guess... there is always next spring!

In early October I noticed a monarch butterfly hovering around the now huge milkweed plant. I was on the phone chatting away...and chasing a butterfly around the plant with camera in hand. I just wanted a picture of it on one of the flowers...with it's wings open and to be honest I wasn't even that determined to get the shot. It wasn't until later that evening that I justrealized what I had captured. She wasn't merely just hovering around the plant...she was laying eggs.

I am certain that bugs do not think...but if she were...I imagine it would have been something like 'gee lady...could I get a little privacy please?' Had I known what she was doing, I probably would have left her alone. I wasn't even aware that they did this in October...I assumed the warm months. But I have since learned that there is 1st, 2nd, 3rd and fourth generation Monarch Butterflies...1-3 eat, lay eggs, and die during the summer. October is the fourth generation. It MIGRATES south and lives 4-5 months in Mexico or Southern California..hibernates...reawakens, becomes active, finds a mate, begins the flight northward and lay their eggs...and finally die.

About 2 weeks later...we noticed caterpillars chomping on the plant. At first you can barely even see them...so these had probably been eating for a couple of days.



This is just part of our milkweed plant...it was tiny when we bought it...but is pretty big now. There are many different varieties...this one is common milkweed and is native to Mexico.
They are cheap, very hearty plants that require very little attention or care... and will come back bigger and stronger every year. Unlike last spring... more than just a "few" caterpillars came in the Fall. We lost count at 120. So...I probably should get more plants next spring.


As the leaves disappeared...the caterpillars became more desperate and surprisingly aggressive. They began to fight over the leaves and flowers.

This is what was left of the plant. Some of the Caterpillars were still very small. I assume they crawled off in search of more Milkweed.

Notice the droppings around the Caterpillar. I assumed that it was poop. I was wrong...as they outgrow and shed their skin. Which by the way... they eat.


I was delighted to find that quite a few of them had chosen my house, porch and the plant itself to go through their change from caterpillar to chrysalis and ultimately...Butterfly!

Next they spin sort of a web and hang from it. Their bodies hang in sort of a C shape. They wiggle and jiggle until they are covered by the cocoon.


I wonder why I didn't enjoy science back in high school? Well...I guess that is a thought to ponder?
The Chrysalis itself is quite amazing...it is almost like it is outlined with Gold Leaf

Each day I could visually see the changes...the chrysalis appeared to change colors...I could almost see the butterfly forming.

Apparently...one was quite a bit ahead of the rest. Sadly we found her floating in a bucket on my back porch.

I continued to watch the others with great hope of capturing the escape and first flight....

About five days into the process our weather changed. A cold front came...which lowered our temps from the 70's to the 40's. I wanted to bring a few of them inside...but my husband said I shouldn't."They may make it and if they don't...it is just the way of nature" I'm not exactly certain as why I listened? Nut I did. As someone who lives in the country...I am aware that sometimes nature is cruel...and it is that way for a purpose. There is a reason a mother bird pushes baby bird out of the nest before it is ready to fly. There is a reason why a mother pig will push her deformed piglet away...refusing to allow it to nurse. But in this case...would it have hurt anything to intervene?

Our weather improved and the temperature returned to the 70's. I continued to watch them with hope. But two weeks passed and I realized that it just wasn't going to happen.


I couldn't help but feel just a little heart broken. That's nature I guess. Life is full of disappointments but it really does go on. There is always next Spring!

"Let us permit nature to have her way. She understands her business better than we do."
~Michel de Montaigne

Miracles Do Happen --a surprise ending to my photo journal. 4th generation Monarch Butterflies in my back yard!

Learn more about Milkweed.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asclepias_curassavica
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milkweed

For more information about Monarch Butterflies...please visit the following websites.
http://monarchbutterflyusa.com/MBUSA.htm
http://monarchbutterflyusa.com/Cycle.htm

When they first hatch..you can barely even see them...so these had been eating for a few days.

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As some of you might remember...on October 4th I accidentally captured (on film) a Monarch butterfly laying eggs on our backyard milkweed plant. October- These are the 4th generation butterflies and will migrate to Mexico!