Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Forgive & Forget

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. "~ Henry Ward Beecher

But I that is not always how it works...

Just because I tell you that I am sorry...doesn't mean that you will accept my apology. Just because you accept my apology... doesn't mean that you will forgive me. Just because you forgive me... doesn't mean that you will forget.

I can say that I am sorry and I can mean it sincerely...but I can not make you believe that it is genuine. If it is your choice to not believe in me...then I guess I have no other choice but to accept.

I will forgive myself for allowing this hurt control me...and for hurting others out of my pain. I choose to no longer punish or to be angry with myself and I promise to move forward and make a positive difference in the future.

"Forgiving ourselves does not let us off the hook, it does not justify what we have done, and it is not a sign of weakness. Forgiveness is a choice that takes courage and strength."


  1. This post really touched me Monica.There is some serious stuff going on with my extended family.Has been going on for almost a year now.Truly sad stuff.I needed to see this tonight.I may return a few time tonight to read it over and over.The quotes,your words all of it.

    PS are those tattoos someones you know?Just curious and nosey.See,we revisit the tattoo thing ... may be sharing mine soon in a blog post.Oh what will people think?

  2. Hey Heather,

    No that is just a random tattoo photo...but I think it is pretty cool. I don't have the guts to tattoo my wrists...but I probably would if I were 18 in this day and age.
    I plan to get another tattoo and it will most likely be on my shoulder...but I am just not sure what to get yet.

    I hope things are resolved with your extended family. I can relate and know how it hurts. My husband broke all ties with his family (parents and siblings) several years ago. Sometimes things just cannot be resolved. However...I believe with all of my heart that forgiveness is very important.
    Forgiveness doesn't always lead to reconciliation...but it is not healthy to hold onto hurts and resentments.

  3. Oh, I'm like an elephant sadly...I always remember! I need to learn how to be more forgiving...It's not about the person you forgive, it's about yourself. Thanks for reminding me.

    Happy Wednesday.


  4. What a thoughtful post!

    I have a hard time forgetting. I just can't. Though, I do feel like I do forgive- but certain things, I just can'ts forget.

    Stopping in from SITS.

  5. I think what Henry Ward Beecher meant by his quote is that when we have made the decision to forgive...then we should not continue to punish and remind the person who hurt us.

    I too have to agree...there are some things that are very hard to forgive and impossible to forget. If we truly care and love the person...it may require outside help such as counseling.

    It also takes a certain amount of a change in behavior. Forgiveness is useless if the person is going to repeat the hurtful behavior.